Diversity

For children to thrive in our ever-changing world, it becomes more and more important for parents, teachers and other childcare providers to help children recognize how people are alike, as well as how they are different and the guide them to learn to respect differences. Adults should encourage children to like and respect themselves for who they are-children need to feel good about their own uniqueness to grow up to be adults who accept others just as they are. The goals are to have children appreciate both themselves and others, and to recognize how we can all learn from each other.

In Mister Rogers' Neighborhood, Everyone is Special!

Appreciating Our Uniqueness

We're all so much alike...and yet we're all so different! A child's sense of identity grows slowly and for several years isn't likely to be very secure. As children grow, they need opportunities to express their uniqueness, whether in choosing the clothes they want to wear or in developing their unique art projects. There are always times when children need to do what everyone else is doing, but there are also many times when we can support children's self-esteem by helping them carry out their own ideas.

When young children begin to recognize likenesses and differences, they often focus on differences and not the underlying sameness in people or objects. They sometimes think that being different means there is something wrong with them. Adults can help children see that there are human qualities that make all of us alike in many ways, even though we come in different shapes, sizes, colors and from different backgrounds. -- Fred Rogers

Letting Your Child Know She is Special

But "You are special" doesn't mean "You are perfect." We all make mistakes, whether we're children or adults. No one is perfect. Of course, it's much easier to learn basic things like that in the context of a warm, loving family. When children know they are loved, they appreciate that they, as well as everyone else, have weaknesses as well as strengths.

And, isn't that the message we want for our children, "You are special...and so is everyone else in the world."

• Spend some time in the day, listening and talking with your child.
  Just being there to listen helps your child feel valuable. Bedtime can be such an important time for that kind of caring conversation.
  
• Help your child find "jobs" to do around the house.
  Even small jobs, like setting the table by putting out spoons or napkins or sorting socks in the laundry, can help a child feel important and needed.
  
• Some families, around the dinner table, ask each one (including the parents), questions like:
  What was the best thing about your day? What was the worst thing about your day? What did you do to help someone today? What did someone do to help you today?

When we help children realize that differences are okay, we're setting the stage for a lifetime of appreciating diversity.

Young children tend to look at things from their own point of view. It's understandable, then, that children may be concerned or confused when they meet people who seem different from them. Those differences may be in skin color or other physical appearances or disabilities. They may be differences in how people talk, what they eat, or ways they celebrate holidays or other customs.

What matters most for children is how they feel about their uniqueness once they do begin to realize that they are, in some ways, different from everyone else. How we feel about this early on often determines whether we grow into adults who rejoice in the diversity of the world's people or into adults who fear and resent that diversity. It's the people who feel strong and good about themselves inside who are best able to accept outside differences -- their own or others.

Certainly children don't have to like everyone in the world. No one does. But with the help of grownups in their lives, they can learn to be "neighborly" -- respectful, courteous, and kind.

Here are some ways you can help your child develop an appreciation of diversity in our society:

Modeling Courtesy And Friendliness To Others
Children learn from example. They learn more from the way they see us interacting with others than they learn through the things we say. Therefore, you can help children respect others by the way you greet people, talk with them, and talk about them afterwards.

Making A Family Book
Work together with your child to make a book about your family, called "How We're Alike and How We're Different." By writing or drawing pictures or taking photographs, you and your child could make a book of everyone's favorite food, color, time of day, what each one likes to do alone and what each one likes to do when the family is together. Besides looking for differences in the "survey," you might also help your child make some pages for the book about what's alike for everyone in your family.

Valuing Differences
Arrange a small get-together with one or two other families. Each could make a snack that may be different or new to the others, possibly an ethnic food or one that's special in other ways for their family.

It would be a good idea to talk beforehand about how to react kindly if someone doesn't want to taste a new food that another family brings. It's all right if the children (or adults) may not like the taste of the food or may not want to try it. That's part of our differences, too. Just seeing new foods being offered in an accepting atmosphere exposes children to a caring way of thinking about differences.

Meeting New Friends
Talk with your child about how it feels to meet someone new. Reassure your child that we all can feel a little shy, scared, confused, or even annoyed when people look or behave differently from their own familiar ways.

You may want to tell your child about a time when you met someone who seemed different at first. But, as you got to know that person, you came to appreciate him or her. It often takes time to get to know someone and to find out what you enjoy talking about or doing together.

Talking about your child's feelings -- when ignored or left out by others -- can help your child develop empathy and begin to see things from another person's point of view.